¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.23

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-23 1209

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of living in another city?

It's not easy to leave our hometown and living in another city.
Aside from the negative cases, the big reason for moving is get a job, study, and easy access.
This means that if I move to a city from outskirts of the city, I want to a better infrastructure than before lived.
On the other way, some people cases where they go a quiet and airy countryside.
To sum it up, I think the pros of living is self-satisfaction.
But, I think the cons of living in another city is that we don't know well the downside until we experience it ourselves.
For example, some people moved because wanted more comfortable life than where before they lived, but there are people who feel uncomfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of living in another city?


It's not easy to leave our hometown and living in another city.
>> It's not easy to leave our hometown to live in another city.
Aside from the negative cases, the big reason for moving is get a job, study, and easy access.
>> Aside from the negative cases, the big reason for moving is to get a job, to study, and to have an easy access.
This means that if I move to a city from outskirts of the city, I want to a better infrastructure than before lived.
>> This means that if I move to a city from the outskirts of the city, I want to live in a better infrastructure than where I lived before.
On the other way, some people cases where they go a quiet and airy countryside.
>> On the other way, in some people's cases, they go to a quiet and airy place in the countryside.
To sum it up, I think the pros of living is self-satisfaction.
>> To sum it up, I think the pros of living in another city is self-satisfaction.
But, I think the cons of living in another city is that we don't know well the downside until we experience it ourselves.
>> CORRECT!
For example, some people moved because wanted more comfortable life than where before they lived, but there are people who feel uncomfortable.
>> For example, some people moved because they wanted to have a more comfortable life than where before they lived, but there are people who feel uncomfortable.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1990
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1843
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2094
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 4162
131462 when I eat out °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131461 \"She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both must... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131460 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 0
131459 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131458 Do you want to become famous? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2213
131457 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131456 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2244
131455 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1846
131454 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3165
131453 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2431
131452 Adapting to changes ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2677
131451 What are the physical effects of getting angry? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2734
131450 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04