¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sns

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2024-01-23 893

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need break away trom social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.

It is making us dopamine addict.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you. Social media creates a gap between people that the other person has a higher status. 
Thank you for this1
T. Aki~

We need break away trom social media.
>>> We need to get away from social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.
>>>SNS seems to connect people, but in reality, our life disconnects owing to SNS.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.
>>> It causes more negative effects on us, especially the young generation.

It is making us dopamine addict.
>>> It is making us addicted to dopamine.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131336 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1677
131335 The most difficult part of studying English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1701
131334 WRITING TASK: What kind of help do you need from your new... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 4
131333 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 2026
131332 If you had a company, will you hire a professional or an amateur... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131331 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 5
131330 why do we need to study English? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1532
131329 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 2
131328 Do you think there is still a stigma associated with people who... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131327 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 0
131326 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1304
131325 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131324 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131323 homework 09.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1388
131322 What\'s your thought on a small city or small province wanting... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131321 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1059
131320 To release my stress ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 902
131319 Which friend makes you laugh a lot? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1171
131318 What are the things that you are extremely proud of as a parent? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1142
131317 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04