¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sns

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2024-01-23 888

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need break away trom social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.

It is making us dopamine addict.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you. Social media creates a gap between people that the other person has a higher status. 
Thank you for this1
T. Aki~

We need break away trom social media.
>>> We need to get away from social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.
>>>SNS seems to connect people, but in reality, our life disconnects owing to SNS.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.
>>> It causes more negative effects on us, especially the young generation.

It is making us dopamine addict.
>>> It is making us addicted to dopamine.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131398 What eating manners do you have in your country that you like... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131397 Which childhood toy do you still keep and why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2356
131396 Between work and leisure ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1343
131395 What would you do to make learning fun? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1623
131394 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 0
131393 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 0
131392 today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1752
131391 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131390 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1567
131389 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2163
131388 Why do you think it is essential to allow employees to take... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2
131387 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2137
131386 There are many researches shows that both working style can lead... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2104
131385 231003-HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131384 WRITING TASK: Who is always willing to help you when you go... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 3
131383 Do you think the governments should encourage public transport... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2464
131382 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131381 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2
131380 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1558
131379 develop ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2028

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04