¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2024-01-19 903

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What would you say is the best thing about New York?
I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
First, There are a lot of people in New York. But,
They are different earch other. and they admit
the Difference. We general don't understanding about the difference. The difference is the various of our life.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream.
Because, It is hard now.and now is materialistic
Society. but, many people believe the other dream.
Third, They are living as anologue style.many people like anologue style. They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than
Watch Handpone or internet.

I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. We have to try about change of our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko!

I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
>>> I think the variety or differences, dream and analogue.   
First, There are a lot of people in New York. 
>>> correct 
But, They are different earch other. and they admit the Difference. 
>>>  But, they are different from each other and they acknowledge the differences. 
We general don't understanding about the difference. 
>>> We generally don't understanding the differences.   
The difference is the various of our life.
>>>  The difference is the diversity of our lives.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream. 
Because, It is hard now .and now is materialistic Society.
>>> Second, these days, every person don't dream because life is hard now and we are in a materialistic society.
 but, many people believe the other dream.
>>> However, many people believe in other's dream.  
Third, They are living as anologue style.
>>> Third, they are living in an analogue lifestyle.  
Many people like analogue style. 
>>> correct  
They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than Watch Handpone or internet.
>>>  They like reading newspaper or talking about daily life more than watching hand phone or internet.
I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. 
>>>  I believe it is more important to enrich mental life than physical life.
We have to try about change of our life.
>>>  We have to try to change of our lifestyle.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128184 What is your favorite movie and why? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 574
128183 Do you think the bill in question violates children\'s human... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 4
128182 What makes you happy? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 632
128181 My best birthday gift ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 379
128180 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 0
128179 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 0
128178 How do you show your love to your sister? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 0
128177 Who is the person you would like to be stranded with on a... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 517
128176 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 0
128175 What does ¡°inner beauty¡± mean to you? Do you consider... ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 321
128174 I think the people\'s born in the world have seen intelligence... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 240
128173 What are some possible compromises that can be made between... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 389
128172 Gardening ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 400
128171 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 342
128170 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 1
128169 10.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 2
128168 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 233
128167 What kind of business would you like to put up and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 1
128166 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 2
128165 homework 05.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 218

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04