¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2024-01-19 802

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What would you say is the best thing about New York?
I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
First, There are a lot of people in New York. But,
They are different earch other. and they admit
the Difference. We general don't understanding about the difference. The difference is the various of our life.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream.
Because, It is hard now.and now is materialistic
Society. but, many people believe the other dream.
Third, They are living as anologue style.many people like anologue style. They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than
Watch Handpone or internet.

I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. We have to try about change of our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko!

I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
>>> I think the variety or differences, dream and analogue.   
First, There are a lot of people in New York. 
>>> correct 
But, They are different earch other. and they admit the Difference. 
>>>  But, they are different from each other and they acknowledge the differences. 
We general don't understanding about the difference. 
>>> We generally don't understanding the differences.   
The difference is the various of our life.
>>>  The difference is the diversity of our lives.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream. 
Because, It is hard now .and now is materialistic Society.
>>> Second, these days, every person don't dream because life is hard now and we are in a materialistic society.
 but, many people believe the other dream.
>>> However, many people believe in other's dream.  
Third, They are living as anologue style.
>>> Third, they are living in an analogue lifestyle.  
Many people like analogue style. 
>>> correct  
They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than Watch Handpone or internet.
>>>  They like reading newspaper or talking about daily life more than watching hand phone or internet.
I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. 
>>>  I believe it is more important to enrich mental life than physical life.
We have to try about change of our life.
>>>  We have to try to change of our lifestyle.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139382 \"What role did you play in the film production?\" ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 7
139381 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 435
139380 Writing task: Can a person enjoy tranquility at their workplace?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 455
139379 What¡¯s your favorite weather? Why do you like that weather? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 507
139378 Does reading a lot help a person become a good writer? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 495
139377 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 459
139376 Essay:Although parents are responsible for raising a child,... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 495
139375 8/22 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2
139374 What kind of people do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 0
139373 Writing task: What is the color of your bedroom? Why did you... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 804
139372 Homework1 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 6
139371 The best leaders ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 398
139370 MY ROOM ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 678
139369 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 542
139368 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 725
139367 What challenges do you face when planning a family gathering,... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 277
139366 Have you ever had a dream that seemed impossible? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 479
139365 method ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 681
139364 What is the most important lesson in life that you have learned? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 625
139363 if you cook breakfast, do you cook for your whole family ?, or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 394

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04