¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2024-01-19 712

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What would you say is the best thing about New York?
I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
First, There are a lot of people in New York. But,
They are different earch other. and they admit
the Difference. We general don't understanding about the difference. The difference is the various of our life.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream.
Because, It is hard now.and now is materialistic
Society. but, many people believe the other dream.
Third, They are living as anologue style.many people like anologue style. They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than
Watch Handpone or internet.

I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. We have to try about change of our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko!

I think the various or difference , dream and anologue.
>>> I think the variety or differences, dream and analogue.   
First, There are a lot of people in New York. 
>>> correct 
But, They are different earch other. and they admit the Difference. 
>>>  But, they are different from each other and they acknowledge the differences. 
We general don't understanding about the difference. 
>>> We generally don't understanding the differences.   
The difference is the various of our life.
>>>  The difference is the diversity of our lives.
Second, thease day, every people don't dream. 
Because, It is hard now .and now is materialistic Society.
>>> Second, these days, every person don't dream because life is hard now and we are in a materialistic society.
 but, many people believe the other dream.
>>> However, many people believe in other's dream.  
Third, They are living as anologue style.
>>> Third, they are living in an analogue lifestyle.  
Many people like analogue style. 
>>> correct  
They likes watch newspaper or talking about daily life more than Watch Handpone or internet.
>>>  They like reading newspaper or talking about daily life more than watching hand phone or internet.
I believe it is important more mental life than phygical life. 
>>>  I believe it is more important to enrich mental life than physical life.
We have to try about change of our life.
>>>  We have to try to change of our lifestyle.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130184 Make questions from each of these keywords: hesitate, invite,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 4
130183 What food from another country would you like to try when given... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1202
130182 8/4 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130181 08.11 H.W What are the customary greetings and behaviors for... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 650
130180 WRITING TASK: How can having frequent internet problems affect... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130179 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1422
130178 How often do you feel afraid? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1
130177 Behavior is someone\'s life ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130176 which among your goals have you already achieved? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130175 Have you ever eaten in a restaurant alone? If not, would you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1
130174 Envy and jealousy È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1637
130173 What are some types of physical activities that people can do... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 996
130172 Why is regular exercise important for maintaining a healthy... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1423
130171 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130170 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1531
130169 08-13 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 1
130168 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 881
130167 08-13 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 3
130166 homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2053
130165 What do you think should people do if there\'s a typhoon coming? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 1976

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04