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What have you lost while traveling?

작성자: 황*은
2024-01-19 620

회원님의 영작문

My latest travel was to Seoul and Busan, where I found nothing lost! (or I don't even figure out if I have lost something).
I have traveled beach every summer since I was a baby and when I was young, I collected beautiful shells. I was so young I couldn't walk the beach alone so I was carried upon my dad's back, whenever I found beautiful shell, I talked to my dad to take that. But my dad often didn't figure out what shell I was saying and took another shell, before I taught him the right shell, the sea wave took all the shells away. I can remember that because I was so sad whenever I experience that thing, whenever I found beautiful shell, I thought that the shell and I were something like destiny and I imagined how dark and cold the sea was after the shell was brought back to the sea. Anyway, the conclusion is I have lost lots of shells on the beach.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Seong Eun,
That was a cute story. haha!
I didn't imagine your answer this way, it's one of a kind! By the way, I like the way you answer your homework, It is detailed and you don't leave the reader unsatisfied. Good job! You can be a great writer in the future!
T. Aki~

My latest travel was to Seoul and Busan, where I found nothing lost! (or I don't even figure out if I have lost something).
>>> CORRECT!

I have traveled beach every summer since I was a baby and when I was young, I collected beautiful shells. I was so young I couldn't walk the beach alone so I was carried upon my dad's back, whenever I found beautiful shell, I talked to my dad to take that.
>>> I have traveled beach every summer since I was a baby and when I was young, I collected beautiful shells. I was so young I couldn't walk the beach alone so I was carried upon my dad's back, whenever I found a beautiful shell, I talked to my dad to take that.

But my dad often didn't figure out what shell I was saying and took another shell, before I taught him the right shell, the sea wave took all the shells away.
>>> CORRECT!

I can remember that because I was so sad whenever I experience that thing, whenever I found beautiful shell.
>>> I can remember that because I was so sad whenever I experienced that thing, whenever I found a beautiful shell.

 I thought that the shell and I were something like destiny and I imagined how dark and cold the sea was after the shell was brought back to the sea. 
>>> CORRECT!

Anyway, the conclusion is I have lost lots of shells on the beach.
>>> CORRECT!
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