¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An incident that changed my life/belief.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2024-01-19 1170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.

An incident that changed my life/belief.
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually I made it.
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
It is the incident that changed my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
While writing this, please know that it is already my day... Hahahaha! By the way, I enjoyed reading your answer today because I could feel that you are really eager to improve yourself! It is inspiring!!!~ Your hard work and determination will pay off :D
-Chammy
I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
>>Correct
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
>>Actually, I wasn't able to understand what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
>>You understood it as an electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.
An incident that changed my life/belief.
>>Correct
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
>>I had an incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
>>That is reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
>>Correct
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
>>However a few people like don't to do it because it can be a hassle
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
>>I realized I could be ranked within the top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually, I made it.
>>Correct
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
>>The rich always make a goal and try to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
>>Correct
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
>>My goal is to win more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested in stocks.
It is the incident that changed my life.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132226 retirement ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2330
132225 homework_231106 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132224 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1588
132223 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2437
132222 Children\'s future ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2207
132221 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132220 Being active ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132219 homework 11.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2106
132218 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2519
132217 What\'s your thought on rule by law? Give examples of rule by... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132216 Tell me about your most recent job. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2653
132215 Do you like it when your friend tells you a secret? Why or why... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132214 The firework I have seen ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2327
132213 A letter of self introduction ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1729
132212 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Is having free... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132211 What¡¯s one thing you could never live without and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1843
132210 My wish ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1905
132209 Homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132208 Youth should not use face book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 3138
132207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04