¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An incident that changed my life/belief.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2024-01-19 412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.

An incident that changed my life/belief.
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually I made it.
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
It is the incident that changed my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
While writing this, please know that it is already my day... Hahahaha! By the way, I enjoyed reading your answer today because I could feel that you are really eager to improve yourself! It is inspiring!!!~ Your hard work and determination will pay off :D
-Chammy
I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
>>Correct
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
>>Actually, I wasn't able to understand what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
>>You understood it as an electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.
An incident that changed my life/belief.
>>Correct
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
>>I had an incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
>>That is reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
>>Correct
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
>>However a few people like don't to do it because it can be a hassle
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
>>I realized I could be ranked within the top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually, I made it.
>>Correct
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
>>The rich always make a goal and try to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
>>Correct
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
>>My goal is to win more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested in stocks.
It is the incident that changed my life.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135652 What do you typically enjoy doing on the weekends? ¹è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 392
135651 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 452
135650 What things about Korea do you think Korean people are proud of? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 575
135649 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 714
135648 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 350
135647 Why do you think a lot of love eating spicy food? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 771
135646 Do you always buy eggs in the market? How many dozons do you... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 352
135645 Do you think that the death penalty would prevent crime in your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1
135644 My perfect Monday list :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 494
135643 humongous ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 0
135642 What is ypur ideal vacation? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3
135641 Mukbang ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 526
135640 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 6
135639 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 791
135638 Why do you think some people don\'t report being scammed? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 462
135637 Do you believe in the saying \"friends are the family we... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 483
135636 How often do you watch TV? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1
135635 What are some of the major changes that occur to people... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3
135634 Describe a positive change in your life ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1
135633 HOMEWORK: When is the best day to take a day off? Why? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 525

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04