¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An incident that changed my life/belief.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2024-01-19 461

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.

An incident that changed my life/belief.
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually I made it.
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
It is the incident that changed my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
While writing this, please know that it is already my day... Hahahaha! By the way, I enjoyed reading your answer today because I could feel that you are really eager to improve yourself! It is inspiring!!!~ Your hard work and determination will pay off :D
-Chammy
I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
>>Correct
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
>>Actually, I wasn't able to understand what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
>>You understood it as an electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.
An incident that changed my life/belief.
>>Correct
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
>>I had an incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
>>That is reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
>>Correct
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
>>However a few people like don't to do it because it can be a hassle
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
>>I realized I could be ranked within the top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually, I made it.
>>Correct
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
>>The rich always make a goal and try to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
>>Correct
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
>>My goal is to win more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested in stocks.
It is the incident that changed my life.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136232 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 633
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 590
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 614
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 513
136228 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 457
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1
136226 Reflect on a challenge you faced and how you overcame it. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 406
136225 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 640
136224 What is your favorite cafe? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136223 Where do you want to be seated in a restaurant, a smoking or a... ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 374
136222 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 303
136221 Saving something for you ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 432
136220 When is it okay to quit and when is it not okay to quit? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136219 Why is it important to rest and relax during a long weekend? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 865
136218 What are the things that you don\'t like about your city and... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 697
136217 What novel story interests you the most? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 349
136216 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 381
136215 putting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2
136214 pack ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2
136213 2024.04.08 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04