¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An incident that changed my life/belief.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2024-01-19 1412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.

An incident that changed my life/belief.
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually I made it.
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
It is the incident that changed my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
While writing this, please know that it is already my day... Hahahaha! By the way, I enjoyed reading your answer today because I could feel that you are really eager to improve yourself! It is inspiring!!!~ Your hard work and determination will pay off :D
-Chammy
I enjoyed talking about the cane from my mother last morning.
>>Correct
Actually, I wasn't able to understand you what the flying racket is.
>>Actually, I wasn't able to understand what the flying racket is.
You understood it as a electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
>>You understood it as an electric racket. But it might be dangerous to hit someone ^^
I will show you the photo someday.
An incident that changed my life/belief.
>>Correct
I had incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
>>I had an incident that changed my belief and mind a year ago.
That is the reading books.
>>That is reading books.
Everyone knows reading books is really helpful for our life and any fields.
>>Correct
However a few people like to do because it can be the hassle.
>>However a few people like don't to do it because it can be a hassle
I realized I can be ranked within top 10% in various fields if I read books.
>>I realized I could be ranked within the top 10% in various fields if I read books.
So I could find out how the rich live and what habits they have by reading books.
It made me challenge the certificate of hotel management again and eventually, I made it.
>>Correct
The rich always make a goal and tried to make it.
>>The rich always make a goal and try to make it.
Now I am reading a book about the stock.
>>Correct
My goal is wining more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested for the stock.
>>My goal is to win more than 20 logo contests this year and the money should be invested in stocks.
It is the incident that changed my life.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138654 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1168
138653 What do you think of the idea of naming babies after their... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138652 Right now, what is your concept of family? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138651 List down at least 5 things you expect to see and do in London. ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138650 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 0
138649 Prefer to driving ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1006
138648 Do you think snorkeling is a suitable activity for all ages?... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1119
138647 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-07-22 1049
138646 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 928
138645 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 0
138644 vice ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 936
138643 How has vacationing with your family changed over the years? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1089
138642 Do you think we¡¯ve become obsessed with technology? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1026
138641 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1
138640 What improvements do you think should still be made in parks in... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 0
138639 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 3
138638 What is the scariest movie you\'ve ever watched. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 912
138637 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1
138636 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1317
138635 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04