¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-18 1033

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?

Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?


Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
>> Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they are over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
>> Most of the time, they eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
>> That's because most healthy food such as salads, vegetables, and fruits can't win over fatty food because they aren't visually appealing.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
>> Maybe we will feel good the moment we eat high-calorie food.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
>> But as a result, I think this behavior is more stressful.
OR >> But as a result, I think this behavior gives us more stress.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
>> And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will only crave for oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.
>> Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape from it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128654 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 0
128653 Breakfast is important Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 3
128652 Answer : What do you think are the benefits of marriage? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 963
128651 The most important thing from school ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1255
128650 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1489
128649 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 667
128648 Keeping in touch with people is necessary to maintain a good... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1298
128647 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1100
128646 When can development and progress be negative? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 901
128645 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 1140
128644 Care ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 1
128643 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 1325
128642 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 1600
128641 Discuss an accomplishment that you are proud of and how it has... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 1
128640 When was the last time you went to the neighborhood park? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-04 0
128639 Why are some countries so eager to wage war, while others... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-03 1
128638 What are the effects of global warming? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-03 1289
128637 What are the effects of global warning? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-03 1353
128636 What makes you happy? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-03 1
128635 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04