¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-18 902

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?

Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?


Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
>> Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they are over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
>> Most of the time, they eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
>> That's because most healthy food such as salads, vegetables, and fruits can't win over fatty food because they aren't visually appealing.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
>> Maybe we will feel good the moment we eat high-calorie food.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
>> But as a result, I think this behavior is more stressful.
OR >> But as a result, I think this behavior gives us more stress.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
>> And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will only crave for oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.
>> Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape from it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130897 homework 09.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1357
130896 Is it okay for people to stay for a long time inside a cafe? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1254
130895 What is a unique talent you have? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1604
130894 Where is your favorite place to study? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1676
130893 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1
130892 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1647
130891 WRITING TASK: Why is accent very important? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 2
130890 Homework-How do you order food in English? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1536
130889 Why do you think people like to listen to gossip? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1542
130888 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 0
130887 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 0
130886 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 0
130885 English language education at school? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 3
130884 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1611
130883 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1674
130882 Homework ±è*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 2578
130881 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1171
130880 What is the best time of the year to visit your hometown? Why? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 0
130879 Question - \'you guys\' in English È«*Ç¥ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 1470
130878 What other common disease is spread by mosquitoes in South Korea? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-08 61

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04