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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do we need to have a goal in life? Why?

작성자: 최*정
2024-01-18 494

회원님의 영작문

Living a life is lack focused on enjoying everything we want is insufficient.
To address this point, it is crucial to have goals or plans in life to give it worth.
I believe that having goals or plans allows us to do much more during our time living a modest life.

If we don't have a goals or plan and live like flow water,
we may end up living a life filled with regrets because of the past version of ourself.
If we don't have What do we want, and what do we have to, or we don't have about what we have to,
I believe that life is about experiencing unfamiliar things while journeying towards one's goals and discovering one's purpose.

A successful life, to me, is not meaning by having a lot of money, a house, and a car.
Instead, I believe it is about earning money while doing what I want or love,
and spending that money on things that bring me joy, allowing me to pursue my passions.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Eunice!

Living a life is lack focused on enjoying everything we want is insufficient.
>>Living a life focused only on enjoying everything we want is insufficient.   
To address this point, it is crucial to have goals or plans in life to give it worth.
>> correct  
.>> OR: To address this point, it is crucial to have goals or plans in life to make it worthy.
I believe that having goals or plans allows us to do much more during our time living a modest life.
>>  correct    
If we don't have a goals or plan and live like flow water, we may end up living a life filled with regrets because of the past version of ourself.
>>  If we don't have goals or plan and live life just going with the flow, we may end up living a life filled with regrets because of the past version of ourselves. 
If we don't have What do we want, and what do we have to, or we don't have about what we have to, I believe that life is about experiencing unfamiliar things while journeying towards one's goals and discovering one's purpose.
>>   If we don't have something we want to have, and what do we have to do to have it, or we don't have any idea about what we have to do, I believe that life is about experiencing unfamiliar things while journeying towards one's goals and discovering one's purpose.
A successful life, to me, is not meaning by having a lot of money, a house, and a car.
>>  A successful life, to me, does not mean having a lot of money, a house, and a car. 
Instead, I believe it is about earning money while doing what I want or love, and spending that money on things that bring me joy, allowing me to pursue my passions.
>> correct  
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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