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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What do you think of being a vegetarian? Some people give up being a vegetarian and go back to their

작성자: 황*은
2024-01-16 809

회원님의 영작문

We are born to eat many creatures so eating meat is a natural thing. But a huge number of people consuming meat creates lots of problems(environmental and ethical problems and poverty) not like before the industrialization. So I think reducing the amount of meat we consume can be helpful for the world. I respect the choice not to eat meat and their passion to keep it up. But I will not going to be a vegetarian because the global problems like poverty or pollution can be solved more effectively by other ways. Vegetarianism can't be the fundamental solution and we must seek technical or political ways. I can't also lose the joy of eating meat.
Being a vegetarian must be difficult for too much limitations about what they eat so giving it up is not that weird. They may wanted to eat meat or their belief about what being vegetarian will bring may be broken.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun!
Thank you for this and I enjoyed reading your answer because it was on point. Humans have various ways how to satisfy their palate. Regardless of what we believe in, we need to respect each other's choices. What I do not agree with vegetarians are their ways of mocking non-vegetarians that it seems like we who are meat-eaters, are sinners. 
Have a good day!
T. Aki~

We are born to eat many creatures so eating meat is a natural thing
>>> We were born to eat many creatures so eating meat is a natural thing.

But a huge number of people consuming meat creates lots of problems(environmental and ethical problems and poverty) not like before the industrialization.
>>> But a huge number of people consuming meat creates lots of problems(environmental and ethical problems and poverty) not like before industrialization.

So I think reducing the amount of meat we consume can be helpful for the world.
>>> CORRECT!

I respect the choice not to eat meat and their passion to keep it up.
>>> CORRECT!

But I will not going to be a vegetarian because the global problems like poverty or pollution can be solved more effectively by other ways.
>>> But I will not go to be a vegetarian because global problems like poverty or pollution can be solved more effectively in other ways.

Vegetarianism can't be the fundamental solution and we must seek technical or political ways.
>>> CORRECT!

I can't also lose the joy of eating meat.
>>> CORRECT!

Being a vegetarian must be difficult for too much limitations about what they eat so giving it up is not that weird.
>>> Being a vegetarian must be difficult for too many limitations about what they eat so giving it up is not that weird.

They may wanted to eat meat or their belief about what being vegetarian will bring may be broken.
>>> They may want to eat meat or their belief about what being vegetarian will bring may be broken.
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