¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Enjoy shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*Áø
2024-01-16 718

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I enjoy shopping not only for buying items needed but also for sharing opinions and emotions about the items with people.
I'm really interested in conveying my opinions and recommending a better options to someone.
Of course, it is hard to look around in store quite a long time.
Then, I often require my companion for giving me sweet desserts.
Although I sometimes make a mistake to buy unexpected items, shopping is definetely entertaining content for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ms. Yu Jin! Well, it's true that looking around shops is exhausting and sometimes, while we browse around, we sometimes impulse buy. Nevertheless, if shopping is our cup of tea, we still can enjoy it. Thank you for sparing some time to write this composition. ^^
~T. Jenna

I enjoy shopping not only for buying items needed but also for sharing opinions and emotions about the items with people.
>>I enjoy shopping, not just for buying needed items, but also for sharing opinions and emotions about them with people.
I'm really interested in conveying my opinions and recommending a better options to someone.
>>I'm really interested in conveying my opinions and recommending better options to someone.
Of course, it is hard to look around in store quite a long time.
>>Of course, it is hard to look around stores for quite a long time.
Then, I often require my companion for giving me sweet desserts.
>> So, I often require my companion to give me sweets. 
Although I sometimes make a mistake to buy unexpected items, shopping is definetely entertaining content for me.
>>Although I sometimes make a mistake of buying unexpected items, shopping is definitely entertaining for me. or Occasionally, I get swayed into buying unnecessary things, but shopping is definitely entertaining for me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132930 WRITING TASK: What is the best way to avoid making mistakes? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 5
132929 Changes ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4
132928 Public transport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132927 Help me....the introverted person.... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132926 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132925 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 448
132924 From what age is it okay to start dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 440
132923 If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 450
132922 What do you look forward to this December? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 278
132921 How do you pick a restaurant to go eat at? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 623
132920 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 634
132919 Stress affects human health a lot. How do you manage youtr... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3
132918 homework 12.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 725
132917 My recent hobby ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 541
132916 Parties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1288
132915 What is your favorite part of where you live? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 273
132914 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 629
132913 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 899
132912 What¡¯s the worst possible meal you could imagine? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 4
132911 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04