¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-11 455

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?

Many people wear glasses.
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
However, we have no choice.
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?


Many people wear glasses.
>> CORRECT!
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
>> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their bad eyesight.
OR >> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their poor eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
>> One of the main reasons why people have poor eyesight is because of too much use of electronic devices.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
>> These days, smartphones and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
>> We do various tasks every day while we're in front of the monitor or the screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
>> CORRECT!
However, we have no choice.
>> CORRECT!
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.
>> One thing that we can do is to spend less time in front of the monitor for our eyes' condition.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138797 Relationship ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 485
138796 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 478
138795 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 1
138794 How do you decide on your travel destinations? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 517
138793 What is the most unusual thing you\'ve ever eaten? Did it taste... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 2
138792 Which is better? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 4
138791 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 526
138790 My favorite music genre ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 724
138789 Pairings of T and consonant sounds ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 723
138788 How can you succeed in something you\'re not excellent at? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 681
138787 2024.07.26 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 1
138786 2024.07.25 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 498
138785 The most difficult vice to get rid of ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 5
138784 Which vice do you think would be the most difficult to get rid... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 481
138783 What¡¯s a new recreational activity you¡¯d like to try, and why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 723
138782 How do you get over not getting something that you desire? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 1
138781 Describe something you own which is very important to you ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 6
138780 depress ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 512
138779 What was your most memorable experience while traveling? ·ù*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 397
138778 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04