¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-11 543

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?

Many people wear glasses.
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
However, we have no choice.
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?


Many people wear glasses.
>> CORRECT!
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
>> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their bad eyesight.
OR >> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their poor eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
>> One of the main reasons why people have poor eyesight is because of too much use of electronic devices.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
>> These days, smartphones and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
>> We do various tasks every day while we're in front of the monitor or the screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
>> CORRECT!
However, we have no choice.
>> CORRECT!
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.
>> One thing that we can do is to spend less time in front of the monitor for our eyes' condition.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133754 Do you believe in aliens? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1164
133753 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133752 Do you think it\'s okay to exercise without sleep? Why or why... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133751 My favorite music artist ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 781
133750 Which one do you prefer, reading or watching? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1260
133749 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 642
133748 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 421
133747 What do you think about arranged marriage? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 913
133746 Traditional food °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 767
133745 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 656
133744 What is sucess for you? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 668
133743 1.Which greeting kind of annoys you? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 811
133742 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2
133741 The best appointment ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 754
133740 What does a perfect weekend look like to you? Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133739 1/4 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 3
133738 Homework : unit 18 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 5
133737 What I did on last Saturday ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 524
133736 How do you feel when you think you are not prepared for... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1
133735 What is the happiest moment that you have experienced with your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 521

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04