¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-11 256

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?

Many people wear glasses.
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
However, we have no choice.
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?


Many people wear glasses.
>> CORRECT!
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
>> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their bad eyesight.
OR >> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their poor eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
>> One of the main reasons why people have poor eyesight is because of too much use of electronic devices.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
>> These days, smartphones and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
>> We do various tasks every day while we're in front of the monitor or the screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
>> CORRECT!
However, we have no choice.
>> CORRECT!
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.
>> One thing that we can do is to spend less time in front of the monitor for our eyes' condition.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134644 Do you like camping? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 560
134643 I miss you a lot!! ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 3
134642 homework 02.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 442
134641 What are the five basic tastes? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1
134640 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 142
134639 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134638 Why living forever is not so good ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134637 Do you like meeting new people? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 231
134636 If you were asked to work in the weekend with a good... ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 572
134635 What are your top priorities in looking for a job? (ex: salary,... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 402
134634 Why is it beneficial to take part in school organizations/clubs? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 560
134633 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134632 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 305
134631 Control And Hide My Anger ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 384
134630 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 378
134629 What do you like eating while watching a movie? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 623
134628 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 435
134627 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134626 About meeting new people °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 530
134625 homework 2024-02-13 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04