¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-11 379

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?

Many people wear glasses.
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
However, we have no choice.
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think more and more people have failing eyesight?


Many people wear glasses.
>> CORRECT!
The reason is various, but most of the reason are they have a bad eyesight.
>> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their bad eyesight.
OR >> There are various reasons, but the reason is because of their poor eyesight.
One of the main reason the failing eyesight is using electronic devices for a long time.
>> One of the main reasons why people have poor eyesight is because of too much use of electronic devices.
These days, smartphone and computers are essential things for us.
>> These days, smartphones and computers are essential things for us.
We doing various works every day while watching a monitor or screen.
>> We do various tasks every day while we're in front of the monitor or the screen.
And these electronic devices cause poor eyesight.
>> CORRECT!
However, we have no choice.
>> CORRECT!
It's just one thing we can do that we spend less time looking at the monitor for our eyes condition.
>> One thing that we can do is to spend less time in front of the monitor for our eyes' condition.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137231 What do you think of Korean men serving in the military? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 472
137230 What are the most expensive fruits in Korea? Do you think they... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 705
137229 a new sports stadium ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 1
137228 homework 05.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 643
137227 What are the things you never do? Write at least two and explain... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 464
137226 What book can you recommend to me if I were a bookworm? Why... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 0
137225 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 522
137224 Question and Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 499
137223 How do you support others in their goals? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 1
137222 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 624
137221 2024.05.15 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 617
137220 Homework 8 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 683
137219 HOMEWORK FOR 05.16.2024 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence using the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 9
137218 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 440
137217 HOMEWORK FOR 05.15.2024 WRITING TASK: Are there any sentimental... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 5
137216 which actor would you like to change places with and why ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 383
137215 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 548
137214 Can you imagine a life without the internet? How will you... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 492
137213 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 757
137212 How do holidays and vacations impact your overall well-being? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 438

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04