¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.08

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-08 498

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?

These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?


These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
>> These days, all of my purchases are from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
>> The reason is that online malls have more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
>> I think the advantages of online malls are the cheap prices and fast deliveries.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
>> The prices of products from online stores are definitely cheaper than the physical stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
>> And in the case of delivery time, if I am lucky, sometimes when I put my order in the morning, I can receive it in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
>> I think the reason why I can receive my orders quickly is because South Korea has a small land area.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
>> But, it's has also disadvantages.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
>> CORRECT!
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
>> For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to see the size of the clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
>> Also, sometimes the colors, patterns, and quality are different.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.
>> In this case, I feel like I'm wasting time to spend money for the online and delivery fee needed for the refund and exchange of the items.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128806 Instagram feed! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 537
128805 Do you like celebrating your birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 312
128804 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1135
128803 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 833
128802 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 563
128801 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128800 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128799 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1985
128798 homework 06.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 518
128797 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 275
128796 How many hours of sleep do you have every day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 258
128795 The most interesting outdoor activity for me ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 388
128794 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128793 What types of diets have you heard of? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 552
128792 How should someone who committed a crime for some good cause be... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 406
128791 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 372
128790 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128789 Studying Engish ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128788 Bad Experience in first impression ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128787 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 259

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04