¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.08

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-08 948

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?

These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?


These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
>> These days, all of my purchases are from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
>> The reason is that online malls have more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
>> I think the advantages of online malls are the cheap prices and fast deliveries.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
>> The prices of products from online stores are definitely cheaper than the physical stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
>> And in the case of delivery time, if I am lucky, sometimes when I put my order in the morning, I can receive it in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
>> I think the reason why I can receive my orders quickly is because South Korea has a small land area.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
>> But, it's has also disadvantages.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
>> CORRECT!
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
>> For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to see the size of the clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
>> Also, sometimes the colors, patterns, and quality are different.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.
>> In this case, I feel like I'm wasting time to spend money for the online and delivery fee needed for the refund and exchange of the items.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131475 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131474 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131473 Do you think your wedding is the happiest day of your life? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1
131472 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3304
131471 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2093
131470 Memorable day ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1724
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1984
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1841
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2091
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 4156
131462 when I eat out °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131461 \"She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both must... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131460 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 0
131459 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131458 Do you want to become famous? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2210
131457 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131456 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2240

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04