¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The importance of working out

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*Áø
2024-01-08 1773

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check fastly.
Of course, It is really hassle to go to gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
However, after finishing a one hours of working out, I always feel fresh and get proud by myself.
Additionally, my physical and mental condition will be definetely improved by sleeping well.
The older we are, the more we need to work out because of our basic strength.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yu Jin! I totally agree! Working out becomes even more important as we age. I love your dedication to staying fit – it's truly inspiring! Keep it up! 
~~T. Jenna

The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check fastly.
>>The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check quickly. 
or
>>What motivates me to keep working out are the tangible results I get.
Of course, It is really hassle to go to gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
>>Of course, it is really a hassle to go to the gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
However, after finishing a one hours of working out, I always feel fresh and get proud by myself.
>>However, after finishing a one-hour workout, I always feel fresh and get proud of myself.
Additionally, my physical and mental condition will be definetely improved by sleeping well.
>>Additionally, my physical and mental condition will definitely be improved by sleeping well.
The older we are, the more we need to work out because of our basic strength.
Correct, or
>>The older we become, the more we need to work out to maintain our basic strength.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132214 The firework I have seen ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2314
132213 A letter of self introduction ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1722
132212 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Is having free... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132211 What¡¯s one thing you could never live without and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1838
132210 My wish ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1898
132209 Homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132208 Youth should not use face book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 3128
132207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132206 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2332
132205 How important do you think is family ties and relations in your... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1642
132204 What time do you usually eat your meals everyday? How do you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1784
132203 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2733
132202 What do you like doing with your childhood friends whenever you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1422
132201 homework_231103 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2580
132200 WRITING TASK: What was the fondest memory you had with your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4
132199 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2492
132198 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1626
132197 A valuable lesson or piece of advice you\\\'ve learned... ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4373
132196 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2081
132195 What is something that you regret in the past that you want to... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04