¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-04 2632

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?


A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?



A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
>> CORRECT!
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
>>  I even waited for hours for the raffle to buy the shoes wanted.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
>> Luckily, I won the raffle.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
>> I liked collecting shoes, and the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
>> Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
>> It's because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
>> So, many people who won the raffle do profit from selling the items again to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
>> CORRECT!
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.
>> But, I've lost interest in it, and the reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133337 What three things would you change if you were in charge of... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2738
133336 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133335 Influence of diet ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1429
133334 Homerwork ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2029
133333 If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133332 Do you think snow is beautiful? What fun things can you do in... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 7
133331 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What will you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133330 Why do some people seem to age faster than others? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133329 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2410
133328 Did you have a hairstyle a long time ago that you think is... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2291
133327 >> What are your thoughts on the slavery of Black people in... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133326 What is your favorite place in the world and why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 0
133325 What kind of festival in Korea would you like to go to someday? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 3506
133324 hotel ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2408
133323 What was the worst kind of fake news you ever read? Can you tell... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1929
133322 What will you do if you have a very noisy neighbor? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2349
133321 HOMEWORK FOR 12.19.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133320 What is cyberbullying, and how does it affect the lives of... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 0
133319 1. Best place in my country 2. Special food ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 2029
133318 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 2133

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04