¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-04 635

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?


A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?



A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
>> CORRECT!
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
>>  I even waited for hours for the raffle to buy the shoes wanted.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
>> Luckily, I won the raffle.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
>> I liked collecting shoes, and the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
>> Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
>> It's because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
>> So, many people who won the raffle do profit from selling the items again to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
>> CORRECT!
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.
>> But, I've lost interest in it, and the reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131381 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2
131380 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 588
131379 develop ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 750
131378 What role does continuous learning play in your personal and... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 968
131377 The Advantages of Bilingualism ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131376 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 561
131375 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 603
131374 Should the government create a law banning minors from drinking... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131373 homework 10.02 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 818
131372 Where do you envision yourself in terms of your career in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1031
131371 Would you rather play video games or read books all day?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 990
131370 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 601
131369 Who in the world do you think possesses the greatest leadership... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131368 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131367 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 3
131366 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131365 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 410
131364 WRITING TASK: Are you satisfied with the supermarkets in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131363 If you had a company, will you hire a professional or an amateur... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131362 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04