¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-04 1474

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?


A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?



A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
>> CORRECT!
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
>>  I even waited for hours for the raffle to buy the shoes wanted.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
>> Luckily, I won the raffle.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
>> I liked collecting shoes, and the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
>> Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
>> It's because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
>> So, many people who won the raffle do profit from selling the items again to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
>> CORRECT!
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.
>> But, I've lost interest in it, and the reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135986 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-01 1191
135985 Most experience in our lives that seemed difficult at the time... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-01 791
135984 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-01 1
135983 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-01 1
135982 Page. 30 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-31 4
135981 Are you scared of strangers? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-31 1473
135980 What does your best friend like that you also like. Explain your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-31 1101
135979 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-31 2
135978 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-29 1505
135977 Who always asks favors from you? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-29 0
135976 Why is it important to treat others with respect? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-29 1117
135975 Do you think you\'re a naturally hard-working person? Why or why... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-29 926
135974 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 1153
135973 homework 03.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 1408
135972 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 2060
135971 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 1386
135970 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 1
135969 Someone who is always willing to help me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 1316
135968 forget ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 2
135967 What are your thoughts on countries invading other countries and... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-28 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04