¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-04 792

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?


A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?



A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
>> CORRECT!
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
>>  I even waited for hours for the raffle to buy the shoes wanted.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
>> Luckily, I won the raffle.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
>> I liked collecting shoes, and the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
>> Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
>> It's because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
>> So, many people who won the raffle do profit from selling the items again to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
>> CORRECT!
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.
>> But, I've lost interest in it, and the reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137724 homework 06.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 562
137723 Changing sleeping pattern ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 10
137722 Q) Do you still like the same kinds of food you did when you... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137721 2023.06.10 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137720 Do you believe that everyone is capable of creating art? Why or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 467
137719 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 523
137718 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 496
137717 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 527
137716 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137715 6/7 (Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 861
137714 6/10(Mon.) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 892
137713 2024.06.07 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 452
137712 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137711 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137710 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137709 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 571
137708 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137707 Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 440
137706 Which country do you think is the safest for women tourists? Why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 3
137705 HOMEWORK FOR 06.10.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you develop a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04