¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Çõ
2024-01-03 1031

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Henry! ^^ 
I'm glad you figured it out. ^^ By the way, you have a strong opinion here. You also explained your point, and I think that's great. For more practice, try to express your ideas in at least three to five sentences next time. For now, this is great. Please study my correction below. See you again in class!
~ Teacher Maxine 

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

>> I agree with Sally's opinion because junk food is bad for students' health, and if students eat junk food, they will likely develop a craving for more unhealthy food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130212 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2042
130211 Why do you like reading books? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 3
130210 Greeting is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2697
130209 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1978
130208 Would you send a dish back if it did not taste good or if you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1
130207 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1434
130206 What should people with insomnia do? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1799
130205 What is the advantage of using the English language? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2323
130204 What are some ways to help you fall asleep? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1984
130203 How did you hear about this position? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1787
130202 Is overpopulation a problem in your town or country? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2023
130201 How can social norms and cultural influences impact behavior? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1667
130200 Do you have a favorite song that you love to perform? What is... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130199 WRITING TASK: How can helping others benefit someone? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2
130198 What is the main things of behavior ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130197 Being a role model ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130196 How does behavior change across different life stages, from... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1539
130195 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1676
130194 What\'s your thought on cliques in schools? Would you want to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130193 homework 08.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2444

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04