¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Çõ
2024-01-03 449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Henry! ^^ 
I'm glad you figured it out. ^^ By the way, you have a strong opinion here. You also explained your point, and I think that's great. For more practice, try to express your ideas in at least three to five sentences next time. For now, this is great. Please study my correction below. See you again in class!
~ Teacher Maxine 

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

>> I agree with Sally's opinion because junk food is bad for students' health, and if students eat junk food, they will likely develop a craving for more unhealthy food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131746 What is the implication of having an aging population? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1294
131745 Do you like mixing colors? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1334
131744 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 3
131743 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131742 Is it a good idea to have a career in the military? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 771
131741 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 0
131740 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you feel... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 0
131739 Give simple steps of conserving water consumption in a few... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 700
131738 pollution ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 0
131737 Good and bad habits ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1600
131736 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 613
131735 Is it important to compare ourselves to others? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 711
131734 the aim of university Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2
131733 Would you let someone close to you handle your savings? Why or... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 719
131732 What are the dangers of having your own business? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131731 Most people consider meetings and conferences to be boring, why... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131730 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 645
131729 Home work ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 503
131728 Saving water, reducing disposable products, and using public... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 801
131727 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04