¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Çõ
2024-01-03 416

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Henry! ^^ 
I'm glad you figured it out. ^^ By the way, you have a strong opinion here. You also explained your point, and I think that's great. For more practice, try to express your ideas in at least three to five sentences next time. For now, this is great. Please study my correction below. See you again in class!
~ Teacher Maxine 

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

>> I agree with Sally's opinion because junk food is bad for students' health, and if students eat junk food, they will likely develop a craving for more unhealthy food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132261 Do you get along with everyone in your workplace? How do you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 1279
132260 Have a Second choice ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 1214
132259 What do you hope for your own future? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 3
132258 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 804
132257 Korea is an aging society. How is this affecting the country... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 846
132256 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-08 1380
132255 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2047
132254 Do you sometimes feel worried about the continuous development... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132253 Someone once said: ¡°For every minute you are angry, you lose... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 6
132252 How could you decline offers of help politely? ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2
132251 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 0
132250 The things best talked about over a drink ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1683
132249 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1092
132248 Talk about five specific goals you want to accomplish this year,... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 816
132247 homework 11.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1247
132246 Can abusers inherit their characters from their parents or do... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132245 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132244 The purpose of the Doljabi °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132243 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 827
132242 What do you hope for your own future? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04