¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Çõ
2024-01-03 379

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Henry! ^^ 
I'm glad you figured it out. ^^ By the way, you have a strong opinion here. You also explained your point, and I think that's great. For more practice, try to express your ideas in at least three to five sentences next time. For now, this is great. Please study my correction below. See you again in class!
~ Teacher Maxine 

I agree in Sally`s opinion because junk food is bad for student`s health and if the student eat junk food they will want to eat junk food more.

>> I agree with Sally's opinion because junk food is bad for students' health, and if students eat junk food, they will likely develop a craving for more unhealthy food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132931 Write about a time that you sowed concern to someone in your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1
132930 WRITING TASK: What is the best way to avoid making mistakes? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 5
132929 Changes ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4
132928 Public transport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132927 Help me....the introverted person.... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132926 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132925 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 533
132924 From what age is it okay to start dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 544
132923 If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 542
132922 What do you look forward to this December? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 357
132921 How do you pick a restaurant to go eat at? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 721
132920 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 730
132919 Stress affects human health a lot. How do you manage youtr... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3
132918 homework 12.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 804
132917 My recent hobby ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 643
132916 Parties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1358
132915 What is your favorite part of where you live? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 368
132914 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 727
132913 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 986
132912 What¡¯s the worst possible meal you could imagine? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04