¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a negative development.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*¿ø
2023-12-27 463

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and appropriate time. Then it could be a positive development. However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ji Won~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Enjoy learning spoken and written English! Way to go!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and in appropriate time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then it could be a positive development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
>>>  However, self-regulating their time of usage is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.
>>> So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our  memory skills could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember our friends' phone numbers.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132783 homework 11.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1248
132782 What are some of your short-term and long-term goals? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1238
132781 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132780 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 2
132779 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1
132778 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132777 What¡¯s the biggest threat to society, knowledge or ignorance? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 2
132776 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is math... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1
132775 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132774 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132773 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132772 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0
132771 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1421
132770 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 751
132769 My own way to recover ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 778
132768 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 930
132767 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 819
132766 WRITING TASK: How much help can you provide for your loved ones? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 3
132765 Two different ways to cook potatoes. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 792
132764 What¡¯s your favorite food from your home country? How do you... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 960

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04