¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a negative development.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*¿ø
2023-12-27 484

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and appropriate time. Then it could be a positive development. However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ji Won~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Enjoy learning spoken and written English! Way to go!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and in appropriate time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then it could be a positive development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
>>>  However, self-regulating their time of usage is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.
>>> So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our  memory skills could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember our friends' phone numbers.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134490 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 436
134489 Staying somewhere ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 482
134488 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 129
134487 No tips!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 711
134486 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 463
134485 I want to be pretty À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 502
134484 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 3
134483 Make up ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 583
134482 2023.02.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134481 avoid eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134480 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 473
134479 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 690
134478 What is there to be happy about in the world today? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134477 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1
134476 Would you rather be a unicorn or a dinosaur?Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 865
134475 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134474 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain an interesting conversation? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 4
134473 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134472 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 726
134471 Good traditions °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 740

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04