¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a negative development.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*¿ø
2023-12-27 618

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and appropriate time. Then it could be a positive development. However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ji Won~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Enjoy learning spoken and written English! Way to go!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and in appropriate time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then it could be a positive development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
>>>  However, self-regulating their time of usage is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.
>>> So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our  memory skills could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember our friends' phone numbers.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135922 What do you think about making mistakes when learning English?... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 737
135921 Someone who is up to his neck in debt ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 599
135920 religion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135919 HOMEWORK ±è*Á¦ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 483
135918 Do people actually know the meaning behind holiday these days? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 745
135917 . Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 386
135916 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Have you ever... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135915 How often do you get sick in a year? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 561
135914 Why is it important to treat others with respect? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135913 What is the importance of family gatherings? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 0
135912 What places do you know that are overcrowded? How often do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 238
135911 Travel back in time ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 336
135910 Take Three Things To Desert Island ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 554
135909 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 496
135908 What are the pros and cons of international marriage? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 535
135907 Which greeting kinds of annoys you? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 564
135906 Making time for my loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 556
135905 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 5
135904 What was the most memorable advice you have received from a... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 410
135903 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 456

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04