¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-27 581

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi. T.Donna.
The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovered around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.
Dr.MJ and I feel so happy for this.
Since my wife gave me the food which she cooked directly, we really enjoyed our lunch.
She is good at cook.
She doesn't cook frequently though.
Today, a marketing manager passed me sentences which will be posted on our online homepage.
It was awkward, I think.
I want you to correct the sentences this time as before.
I will send you on the Skype chat.
There is no more news about the crazy woman named Park.
She may have given up the excessive request.
We suggested that we could improve her scar for free, but she rejected it.
From the first time, she told us that she wanted a money, nothing else.
There's been many patients who wanted to improve their scar after other clinic's laser.
They paid for the treatment with their money, because the scar after removal of mole or mass is usual.
So, I can't accept her request.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

I have sent back the online post you have requested me to revise. I hope it will help you to be more confident and more successful for your clinic. If you earn a lot, I will charge you for my editing skills. ^^ I am kidding.

The profit trend is impressive lately. I hope that everyone upholds quality standard of service above all. Sometimes, thinking about the profit should be the secondary concern you should have. Primarily, quality service and client satisfaction ought to be on top of your list. Nothing beats an excellent service and genuine concern for your patients. This way, revenue will continuously flow like the Han River in your clinic. In addition, unhappy patients or clients will disappear and never disturb you.

Then, carry on in your clinic! Congratulations.

Below, there are word forms that you need to master especially when the word needs transformation from a very to noun. If you read and edit your sentences before submission, you might be able to determine your own errors and your composition will be free from corrections. Nevertheless, you did so well in telling your story in logical order and degree of importance. 

See you again tomorrow. 

-T. Donna~

Hi. T.Donna.
>> Hi, T. Donna.

The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovered around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.
>>The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovering around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.

Dr.MJ and I feel so happy for this.
>> Correct!

Since my wife gave me the food which she cooked directly, we really enjoyed our lunch.
>> Correct!

She is good at cook.
>> She is good at cooking.

She doesn't cook frequently though.
>> Correct!

Today, a marketing manager passed me sentences which will be posted on our online homepage.
>> Correct!

It was awkward, I think.
>> Correct!

I want you to correct the sentences this time as before.
>> Correct!

I will send you on the Skype chat.
>> Correct!

There is no more news about the crazy woman named Park.
>> Correct!

She may have given up the excessive request.
>> Correct!

We suggested that we could improve her scar for free, but she rejected it.
>> Correct!

From the first time, she told us that she wanted a money, nothing else.
>> From the first time, she told us that she wanted money and nothing else.

There's been many patients who wanted to improve their scar after other clinic's laser.
>> Correct!

They paid for the treatment with their money, because the scar after removal of mole or mass is usual.
>> Correct!

So, I can't accept her request.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130791 Visitinf ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 580
130790 The best way to revenge ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1257
130789 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1
130788 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 870
130787 homework 09.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 949
130786 Would you rather be able to teleport or read minds? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1061
130785 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 9
130784 What thing will you always carry in your bag? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 497
130783 What risks are you willing to take to reach your dreams? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 654
130782 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1098
130781 Why are some people more intelligent than others? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 5
130780 Where do you prefer living in, the city or the countryside, why? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2
130779 How do you handle conflicts or disagreements within your... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1
130778 What are the good and bad things about traveling? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 674
130777 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What I want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2
130776 Homework- 230905 PART1 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 3
130775 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1024
130774 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1
130773 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 484
130772 HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: How do you manage your workweek and... ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1224

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04