¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-27 1601

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi. T.Donna.
The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovered around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.
Dr.MJ and I feel so happy for this.
Since my wife gave me the food which she cooked directly, we really enjoyed our lunch.
She is good at cook.
She doesn't cook frequently though.
Today, a marketing manager passed me sentences which will be posted on our online homepage.
It was awkward, I think.
I want you to correct the sentences this time as before.
I will send you on the Skype chat.
There is no more news about the crazy woman named Park.
She may have given up the excessive request.
We suggested that we could improve her scar for free, but she rejected it.
From the first time, she told us that she wanted a money, nothing else.
There's been many patients who wanted to improve their scar after other clinic's laser.
They paid for the treatment with their money, because the scar after removal of mole or mass is usual.
So, I can't accept her request.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

I have sent back the online post you have requested me to revise. I hope it will help you to be more confident and more successful for your clinic. If you earn a lot, I will charge you for my editing skills. ^^ I am kidding.

The profit trend is impressive lately. I hope that everyone upholds quality standard of service above all. Sometimes, thinking about the profit should be the secondary concern you should have. Primarily, quality service and client satisfaction ought to be on top of your list. Nothing beats an excellent service and genuine concern for your patients. This way, revenue will continuously flow like the Han River in your clinic. In addition, unhappy patients or clients will disappear and never disturb you.

Then, carry on in your clinic! Congratulations.

Below, there are word forms that you need to master especially when the word needs transformation from a very to noun. If you read and edit your sentences before submission, you might be able to determine your own errors and your composition will be free from corrections. Nevertheless, you did so well in telling your story in logical order and degree of importance. 

See you again tomorrow. 

-T. Donna~

Hi. T.Donna.
>> Hi, T. Donna.

The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovered around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.
>>The trend of the profit is good these days, it seems to be recovering around 90% in comparison to past months before the crisis.

Dr.MJ and I feel so happy for this.
>> Correct!

Since my wife gave me the food which she cooked directly, we really enjoyed our lunch.
>> Correct!

She is good at cook.
>> She is good at cooking.

She doesn't cook frequently though.
>> Correct!

Today, a marketing manager passed me sentences which will be posted on our online homepage.
>> Correct!

It was awkward, I think.
>> Correct!

I want you to correct the sentences this time as before.
>> Correct!

I will send you on the Skype chat.
>> Correct!

There is no more news about the crazy woman named Park.
>> Correct!

She may have given up the excessive request.
>> Correct!

We suggested that we could improve her scar for free, but she rejected it.
>> Correct!

From the first time, she told us that she wanted a money, nothing else.
>> From the first time, she told us that she wanted money and nothing else.

There's been many patients who wanted to improve their scar after other clinic's laser.
>> Correct!

They paid for the treatment with their money, because the scar after removal of mole or mass is usual.
>> Correct!

So, I can't accept her request.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139916 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139915 According to your condition ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1062
139914 Can you talk about three people who have influenced your life? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2
139913 Which foods are unhealthy? What is unhealthy about them? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1177
139912 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139911 What do you do to relax after a busy day? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139910 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2
139909 What are the downsides to plastic? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1587
139908 Trends ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1343
139907 No pain No gain ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139906 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1519
139905 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1181
139904 What challenges do people with disability face? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1395
139903 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139902 12.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 0
139901 Favorite god µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1533
139900 Do you prefer a planned vacation or a spontaneous one? Why? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1416
139899 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-13 1269
139898 HOMEWORK FOR 09.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What¡¯s the most annoying... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139897 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1486

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04