¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-21 541

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Thank you for helping me.
With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
But, now I am so starving.
As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Finally, I had the time to sit down and pay close attention to your essay. As I told you, I attended a yearend party and a wedding. So, here I am sending you back your composition along with the suggestions.

I am always happy to help you in any way I can. It is a pleasure. Never hesitate.

As the profit improves sharply and plummets, you may take a look into the average income. If your expectations this month fell then, doing more is necessary. It may be helpful to think less of the profit and focus on quality services and treating patients with genuine generosity and kindness.

How is your rural apartment? What have you decided on? I hope that you get a breakeven somehow. 

Truly, married couples should share tasks especially during these times. Life has gotten more and more expensive every year and being a pair who share burdens and victories is the best way to alleviate financial and family struggles.

Therefore, study the suggestions made on your  essay. Almost all of your sentences are correct, great job!

See you again next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Thank you for helping me.
>> Correct!

With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
>> Correct!

Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
>> Correct!

It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
>> Correct!

Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: Definitely

We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
>> Correct!

However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
>> Correct!

That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
>> Correct!

Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
>> Correct!
Or: appetite

But, now I am so starving.
>> Correct!

As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
>>As for your question, whether women or men, they should help each other, I think.

Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
>> Correct!

Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
>> Otherwise, they can do housework the best instead of spending meaningless time.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132392 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1035
132391 Do you see yourself living abroad permanently? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 761
132390 What would you like your government to spend more money on... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132389 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132388 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132387 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132386 homework_1113 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 454
132385 My pronunciation problems ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 627
132384 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132383 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132382 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132381 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 831
132380 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132379 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132378 My favorite breakfast food ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1092
132377 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 725
132376 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132375 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132374 Investing some money to my friend ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1287
132373 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1844

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04