¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-21 1331

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Thank you for helping me.
With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
But, now I am so starving.
As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Finally, I had the time to sit down and pay close attention to your essay. As I told you, I attended a yearend party and a wedding. So, here I am sending you back your composition along with the suggestions.

I am always happy to help you in any way I can. It is a pleasure. Never hesitate.

As the profit improves sharply and plummets, you may take a look into the average income. If your expectations this month fell then, doing more is necessary. It may be helpful to think less of the profit and focus on quality services and treating patients with genuine generosity and kindness.

How is your rural apartment? What have you decided on? I hope that you get a breakeven somehow. 

Truly, married couples should share tasks especially during these times. Life has gotten more and more expensive every year and being a pair who share burdens and victories is the best way to alleviate financial and family struggles.

Therefore, study the suggestions made on your  essay. Almost all of your sentences are correct, great job!

See you again next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Thank you for helping me.
>> Correct!

With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
>> Correct!

Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
>> Correct!

It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
>> Correct!

Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: Definitely

We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
>> Correct!

However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
>> Correct!

That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
>> Correct!

Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
>> Correct!
Or: appetite

But, now I am so starving.
>> Correct!

As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
>>As for your question, whether women or men, they should help each other, I think.

Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
>> Correct!

Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
>> Otherwise, they can do housework the best instead of spending meaningless time.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136242 What do you dislike more, a loud neighbor or a nosy neighbor? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1075
136241 It is better to stay home on your day off or go somewhere? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 3
136240 What do you mostly look forward to when you enter a company? Why? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1128
136239 How can clothes help us express our culture and identity? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1101
136238 My parent\'s advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1151
136237 What makes a bad cafe? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1
136236 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1348
136235 How important is it to encourage children to take up hobbies? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 0
136234 About long average working hour Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1595
136233 HOMEWORK: Why do people need to learn English as a second... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 927
136232 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1682
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1404
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1377
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1004
136228 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1042
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1
136226 Reflect on a challenge you faced and how you overcame it. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 930
136225 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1353
136224 What is your favorite cafe? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136223 Where do you want to be seated in a restaurant, a smoking or a... ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 921

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04