¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-21 1458

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Thank you for helping me.
With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
But, now I am so starving.
As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Finally, I had the time to sit down and pay close attention to your essay. As I told you, I attended a yearend party and a wedding. So, here I am sending you back your composition along with the suggestions.

I am always happy to help you in any way I can. It is a pleasure. Never hesitate.

As the profit improves sharply and plummets, you may take a look into the average income. If your expectations this month fell then, doing more is necessary. It may be helpful to think less of the profit and focus on quality services and treating patients with genuine generosity and kindness.

How is your rural apartment? What have you decided on? I hope that you get a breakeven somehow. 

Truly, married couples should share tasks especially during these times. Life has gotten more and more expensive every year and being a pair who share burdens and victories is the best way to alleviate financial and family struggles.

Therefore, study the suggestions made on your  essay. Almost all of your sentences are correct, great job!

See you again next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Thank you for helping me.
>> Correct!

With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
>> Correct!

Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
>> Correct!

It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
>> Correct!

Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: Definitely

We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
>> Correct!

However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
>> Correct!

That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
>> Correct!

Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
>> Correct!
Or: appetite

But, now I am so starving.
>> Correct!

As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
>>As for your question, whether women or men, they should help each other, I think.

Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
>> Correct!

Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
>> Otherwise, they can do housework the best instead of spending meaningless time.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137430 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137429 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1299
137428 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137427 Which country do you think is the best place to travel to? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 932
137426 Do you think MBTI is important? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137425 Is it a bad thing to look like your brother or sister? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1018
137424 howework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1237
137423 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 922
137422 What is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 1162
137421 Are men better drivers than women? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 1102
137420 Do you need an alarm clock to wake up? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 1535
137419 Writing Task: What helps you get to sleep? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 939
137418 The way to veteran ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 1279
137417 Why is honesty important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1005
137416 homework 05.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1019
137415 Protecting the natural environment ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1245
137414 What is the most popular mobile game in your country? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1295
137413 Why do our dreams change as we grow older? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1561
137412 What are you passionate about? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1342
137411 How do you show respect to your teacher? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1274

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04