¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-21 678

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Thank you for helping me.
With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
But, now I am so starving.
As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Finally, I had the time to sit down and pay close attention to your essay. As I told you, I attended a yearend party and a wedding. So, here I am sending you back your composition along with the suggestions.

I am always happy to help you in any way I can. It is a pleasure. Never hesitate.

As the profit improves sharply and plummets, you may take a look into the average income. If your expectations this month fell then, doing more is necessary. It may be helpful to think less of the profit and focus on quality services and treating patients with genuine generosity and kindness.

How is your rural apartment? What have you decided on? I hope that you get a breakeven somehow. 

Truly, married couples should share tasks especially during these times. Life has gotten more and more expensive every year and being a pair who share burdens and victories is the best way to alleviate financial and family struggles.

Therefore, study the suggestions made on your  essay. Almost all of your sentences are correct, great job!

See you again next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Thank you for helping me.
>> Correct!

With your correction, my composition about clinic introduction became better.
>> Correct!

Thus, I could give it to our manager with pride.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, today's profit is not bad.
>> Correct!

It doesn't mean a good profit, but we should be satisfied with it.
>> Correct!

Definately, the trend of decreased patient continues everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: Definitely

We are trying to overcome this crisis, but there is no proper solution, I guess.
>> Correct!

However, I am sure that we can achieve our goal of profit again in a few weeks.
>> Correct!

That's because our clinic is the best in this area and we are doing our best always.
>> Correct!

Since I was worried about my rural apartment this morning, my apetite was bad, so I didn't eat enough meal at lunch time.
>> Correct!
Or: appetite

But, now I am so starving.
>> Correct!

As for your question, whoever women or men, they should help each other, I think.
>>As for your question, whether women or men, they should help each other, I think.

Those women can work, and if so, can reduce the pressure of money on men.
>> Correct!

Otherwise, they can do a housework with the best instead of spending meaningless time.
>> Otherwise, they can do housework the best instead of spending meaningless time.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136560 what do you want to change in your life? ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136559 Make a sentence using the following words: Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 436
136558 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136557 How do you prioritize spending quality time with your family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136556 HOMEWORK FOR 04.19.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you live life to... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 5
136555 advance ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 536
136554 Every misfortune is a blessing in disguise ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 485
136553 What kind of people are less likely to suffer from stress or... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136552 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 886
136551 If you could change anything about your present home, what would... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 645
136550 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 416
136549 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136548 Operating cafe ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 510
136547 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136546 What do you think is the best martial art? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 355
136545 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 561
136544 How do you make new friends? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 464
136543 How does the cost of living affect people\'s lives? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 408
136542 homework 04.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 536
136541 What is your favorite bonding with your family? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 450

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04