¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-20 1256

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
As I told you, I went to a car center, where the engineer checked my car, and of course, my car proved to be healthy.
After the check, my wife and I went to a restaurant and we enjoyed brunch there.
This was the first time to go there.
There were plenty of american style foods there and the taste of all food that we ordered was so good than expected.
I felt like I was in New York.
This afternoon, I attended the guitar class, and did workout with my friend as my routines.
I was so happy to get praise from the teacher in the class.
After workout, my friend and I went to a new restaurant, where we ate a kind of beef soup, and it also tasted so good.
As for my assignment, many cancers are easy to cure these days.
For instance, thyroid cancer and early stage stomach or colon cancer are belonged to those cancers.
If we have other cancer excepting those things above and can detect early, we don't have to be afraid because most of cancers excepting pancreatic cancer can be cured.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

You had a very busy but relaxing day off yesterday. I guess, you have done all the things that you love including eating all the food you deserve. After all, a day off can help reset yourself mentally, and make it easier to have a clear head once back at work. Put simply, push yourself through too many hours or days of work and your brain starts to push back.

Meanwhile playing guitar can help you develop important social skills, such as communication and teamwork. Perhaps you should influence Dr. MJ to play an instrument too.  Congratulations on your guitar skills. I cannot wait to see you play the guitar while rendering a song.

Lastly, I never thought that the pancreas is the most delicate organ in terms of cancer. As I read it on the Internet, to keep your pancreas healthy, focus on foods that are rich in protein, limit the use of fatty foods and follow a healthy lifestyle. 

I am glad to see minimal mistakes on your composition. Maintain your correct sentences and always take note of the grammar suggestions. Excellent job!

See you tomorrow!

-T. Donna~ 

Hi.
>> Correct!

As I told you, I went to a car center, where the engineer checked my car, and of course, my car proved to be healthy.
>> Correct!

After the check, my wife and I went to a restaurant and we enjoyed brunch there.
>> Correct!

This was the first time to go there.
>> Correct!

There were plenty of american style foods there and the taste of all food that we ordered was so good than expected.
>> Correct!
Or: There were plenty of American style food there and the taste of all food that we ordered was so good than expected.

I felt like I was in New York.
>> Correct!

This afternoon, I attended the guitar class, and did workout with my friend as my routines.
>> Correct!

I was so happy to get praise from the teacher in the class.
>> I was so happy to get praises from the teacher in the class.

After workout, my friend and I went to a new restaurant, where we ate a kind of beef soup, and it also tasted so good.
>> Correct!

As for my assignment, many cancers are easy to cure these days.
>> Correct!

For instance, thyroid cancer and early stage stomach or colon cancer are belonged to those cancers.
>> For instance, thyroid cancer and early stage stomach or colon cancer belong to those cancers.

If we have other cancer excepting those things above and can detect early, we don't have to be afraid because most of cancers excepting pancreatic cancer can be cured.
>> If we have other cancer aside from those things above and can detect early, we don't have to be afraid because most of cancers except pancreatic cancer can be cured.

See you. 
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132812 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1206
132811 Have you ever hlped anyone? If yes, write about it. If not, then... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132810 Do you think leaders of the country must consider historical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132809 Lost ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132808 homework 11.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1262
132807 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2134
132806 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132805 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1994
132804 Money ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1958
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1478
132799 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1528
132798 What do you think is the most important part of learning English... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132797 I\'ve worked at BBQ. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132796 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132795 The cause of conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2021
132794 In most countries, women live an average of five to six years... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2040
132793 Q. Do you think that productivity content on social media is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04