¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To answer the question about military services

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2023-12-20 1453

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What changes do you think is needed to improve or better the military service in your country?
I think to need many changes.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko. Have a great evening!
 
I think to need many changes.
>>> I think there needs to be many changes.
>>> OR: I think it needs many changes. 
>>> OR: I think there is a need for many changes.
>> OR: I think many changes are needed.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
>>> First, people's thoughts at present has changes a lot compared to the past regarding/about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
>>> Second, everything around the world has changes including Korea. 
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. 
>>> Third, young people want to change the problems related to jobs.
To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service. 
>>> To change, supporting military service is more important than making it mandatory. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132034 A gadget that I don\'t use ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1373
132033 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2587
132032 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1398
132031 Do you believe that pets can have unique personalities? Have you... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 0
132030 What was the most thrilling or adventurous thing you\'ve tried... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132029 The last thing that made you feel so much better ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1609
132028 Time ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1287
132027 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 3
132026 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1798
132025 What is your philosophy in life? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1476
132024 Do children and teenagers also have the right to freedom of... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132023 Should schools switch to e-books? Why? share the advantages and... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2
132022 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1938
132021 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 3
132020 HOMEWORK-231030 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132019 What is my biggest complaints about my friends. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1717
132018 why to many fitness ±è*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2140
132017 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1584
132016 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 0
132015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04