¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To answer the question about military services

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2023-12-20 708

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What changes do you think is needed to improve or better the military service in your country?
I think to need many changes.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko. Have a great evening!
 
I think to need many changes.
>>> I think there needs to be many changes.
>>> OR: I think it needs many changes. 
>>> OR: I think there is a need for many changes.
>> OR: I think many changes are needed.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
>>> First, people's thoughts at present has changes a lot compared to the past regarding/about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
>>> Second, everything around the world has changes including Korea. 
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. 
>>> Third, young people want to change the problems related to jobs.
To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service. 
>>> To change, supporting military service is more important than making it mandatory. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134831 Describe a place you find peaceful and why it\'s special to you. ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 625
134830 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 495
134829 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134828 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134827 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134826 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 332
134825 Children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 539
134824 About Korea society °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 433
134823 My daily routine °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 454
134822 Do you ever worry about the safety of the rides at the amusement... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 291
134821 What fears do you have for the future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 574
134820 Do you think property is always a good investment? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 4
134819 Is there any development with your \'friendship\' with IH? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134818 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1
134817 If you have the chance to learn another language, what would it... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 356
134816 What do you think of people who don\'t go to the dentist ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 431
134815 Write about something you regret having done ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 0
134814 If you were going to implement an ordinance, what would it be? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 691
134813 How long should we know before we get married? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 355
134812 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 367

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04