¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To answer the question about military services

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2023-12-20 726

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What changes do you think is needed to improve or better the military service in your country?
I think to need many changes.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko. Have a great evening!
 
I think to need many changes.
>>> I think there needs to be many changes.
>>> OR: I think it needs many changes. 
>>> OR: I think there is a need for many changes.
>> OR: I think many changes are needed.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
>>> First, people's thoughts at present has changes a lot compared to the past regarding/about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
>>> Second, everything around the world has changes including Korea. 
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. 
>>> Third, young people want to change the problems related to jobs.
To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service. 
>>> To change, supporting military service is more important than making it mandatory. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135188 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 1
135187 Price is the only consideration when buying something ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 709
135186 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 491
135185 Which building is the taller, Lotte World Tower or Haeundae LCT... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 743
135184 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 785
135183 What do you think is the most difficult kind of dance? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 603
135182 Do you like meeting new people? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 518
135181 What is a fun winter activity that can be done indoors? How... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 748
135180 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 687
135179 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 0
135178 DIRECTIONS: Make sentences using the following words: 1.... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 6
135177 Public transportation of my city ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 668
135176 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-04 1
135175 What do you think makes K-pop different from other country\'s... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 586
135174 Environment ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 0
135173 Pets and plants ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 0
135172 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 564
135171 What body language in your country is used to show respect? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 1
135170 11 page ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 3
135169 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-03 686

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04