¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To answer the question about military services

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °í*È£
2023-12-20 861

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What changes do you think is needed to improve or better the military service in your country?
I think to need many changes.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Ko. Have a great evening!
 
I think to need many changes.
>>> I think there needs to be many changes.
>>> OR: I think it needs many changes. 
>>> OR: I think there is a need for many changes.
>> OR: I think many changes are needed.
First, Think of people changed present more than past about mandatory military service.
>>> First, people's thoughts at present has changes a lot compared to the past regarding/about mandatory military service.
Second, It was change around world incould Korea.
>>> Second, everything around the world has changes including Korea. 
Third, Young peoples want to change about our job problem. 
>>> Third, young people want to change the problems related to jobs.
To change Supporting military service more than mandatory military service. 
>>> To change, supporting military service is more important than making it mandatory. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137843 Is it hard to apologize? How do you apologize to someone? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 915
137842 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 757
137841 Many governments think that economic progress is their most... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 524
137840 When do you feel most energized? What do you like to do with... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 920
137839 If animals could speak, what do you think they would say to... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 611
137838 HOMEWORK FOR 06.14.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the qualities of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 3
137837 Are beauty standards like in your home country different to the... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 837
137836 Procrastinating something ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 843
137835 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 618
137834 Have you ever tried complaining at a restaurant? Why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 616
137833 Page.56 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 0
137832 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 3
137831 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 0
137830 What are the marriage customs in your country? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 524
137829 What was the most thrilling thing you\'ve ever done? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 945
137828 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 0
137827 What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 687
137826 Friends ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 563
137825 When was the last time that you had a wonderful time? Write... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 641
137824 What are the things you\'re sorry for recently? Write at least... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 2082

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04