¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´ã
2023-12-20 714

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life. Now we are in an information-oriented society. So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn. Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living. Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money. Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lina!

Good work on your essay homework.

You were able to show good comprehension of my question by providing a relevant answer.

You can improve your writing by using key vocabulary and/or summarizing the major ideas in your own words.

Overall, you did well in your composition.

Good job Lina! :)

- Teacher Mari 



I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life.
I think ¡®learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our lives.
Now we are in an information-oriented society.
CORRECT!
OR >> We now live in a society that values information.
So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn.

So, to not be eliminated from society, we have to learn.

Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living.
Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money to live.
Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Therefore, I think ¡®learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

Of course, many jobs don¡¯t require knowledge, but a large-income learner always tries to learn.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128502 23.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 2
128501 Living in a new country would be a big change for anybody. What... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 218
128500 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1439
128499 Aside from transportation, what other infrastructure are proud... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 345
128498 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 372
128497 What kind of sports do you enjoy? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128496 What is the importance of teamwork? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128495 How do you maintain a good relationship with colleagues? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128494 Describe your first trip abroad ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 769
128493 People say conversation is an art. Do you think so? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 597
128491 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 556
128490 homework 05.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 527
128489 Love is very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 388
128488 The language I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 314
128487 What do you like doing at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 641
128486 What is you favorite mobile game to play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 602
128485 homework:When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 264
128484 Do you think it\'s fair that so much of the world\'s wealth is... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 5
128483 I love my self! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 383

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04