¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´ã
2023-12-20 1559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life. Now we are in an information-oriented society. So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn. Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living. Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money. Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lina!

Good work on your essay homework.

You were able to show good comprehension of my question by providing a relevant answer.

You can improve your writing by using key vocabulary and/or summarizing the major ideas in your own words.

Overall, you did well in your composition.

Good job Lina! :)

- Teacher Mari 



I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life.
I think ¡®learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our lives.
Now we are in an information-oriented society.
CORRECT!
OR >> We now live in a society that values information.
So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn.

So, to not be eliminated from society, we have to learn.

Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living.
Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money to live.
Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Therefore, I think ¡®learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

Of course, many jobs don¡¯t require knowledge, but a large-income learner always tries to learn.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131121 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131120 homework 09.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1380
131119 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1393
131118 who in your family is the funny one?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1260
131117 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1302
131116 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131115 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1761
131114 Can you describe what slime feels like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1809
131113 What is the scariest animal for you and why ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131112 \"What can you do to attend a K-pop concert someday? and why?\" ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131111 What is the worst disaster that you have experienced? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131110 Would you rather go your homework or do chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1687
131109 jump rope teaher is late ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1380
131108 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1281
131107 How do people typically prepare for the weekend on Fridays? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 0
131106 WRITING TASK: How would you deal with someone who asks for help... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 3
131105 How do you show your appreciation to people you are thankful for? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131104 What is an earthquake and how does it devastate a country both... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131103 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1595
131102 HOMEWORK 3 ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1847

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04