¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´ã
2023-12-20 521

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life. Now we are in an information-oriented society. So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn. Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living. Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money. Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lina!

Good work on your essay homework.

You were able to show good comprehension of my question by providing a relevant answer.

You can improve your writing by using key vocabulary and/or summarizing the major ideas in your own words.

Overall, you did well in your composition.

Good job Lina! :)

- Teacher Mari 



I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life.
I think ¡®learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our lives.
Now we are in an information-oriented society.
CORRECT!
OR >> We now live in a society that values information.
So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn.

So, to not be eliminated from society, we have to learn.

Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living.
Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money to live.
Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Therefore, I think ¡®learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

Of course, many jobs don¡¯t require knowledge, but a large-income learner always tries to learn.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130400 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130399 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130398 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1148
130397 homework 08.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1055
130396 HW ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130395 What¡¯s your favorite way to get to school? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1398
130394 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 944
130393 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1165
130392 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 850
130391 Would you rather eat a banana or a carrot? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 970
130390 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1583
130389 Do you think the new policy that removes students in class when... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1262
130388 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2
130387 Acupuncture, a treatment in which thin needles are inserted into... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1414
130386 Why do you think people stereotype? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 949
130385 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130384 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130383 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130382 What makes a better impression, his/her appearance or... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1881
130381 How can people be encouraged to have healthier lifestyle? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04