¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´ã
2023-12-20 409

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life. Now we are in an information-oriented society. So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn. Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living. Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money. Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lina!

Good work on your essay homework.

You were able to show good comprehension of my question by providing a relevant answer.

You can improve your writing by using key vocabulary and/or summarizing the major ideas in your own words.

Overall, you did well in your composition.

Good job Lina! :)

- Teacher Mari 



I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life.
I think ¡®learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our lives.
Now we are in an information-oriented society.
CORRECT!
OR >> We now live in a society that values information.
So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn.

So, to not be eliminated from society, we have to learn.

Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living.
Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money to live.
Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Therefore, I think ¡®learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

Of course, many jobs don¡¯t require knowledge, but a large-income learner always tries to learn.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131461 \"She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both must... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131460 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 0
131459 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131458 Do you want to become famous? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 725
131457 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131456 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 988
131455 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 825
131454 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1344
131453 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1159
131452 Adapting to changes ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1045
131451 What are the physical effects of getting angry? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1170
131450 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131449 HOMEWORK-231005 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131448 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 909
131447 Debate ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 978
131446 What is the most important celebration for you and why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 918
131445 What annoys you and why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 651
131444 What is your pet peeve? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 435
131443 Regret saying yes ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 629
131442 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 728

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04