¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-15 1109

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?

I want to learn a lot of skills
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency(virtual Currency)
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?


I want to learn a lot of skills.
>> CORRECT!
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
>> The skills I want to have are speaking English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
>> Among them, I want to have investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency (virtual Currency)
>> These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes investing in cryptocurrency (virtual Currency).
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
>> I'm so happy about the development of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
>> 
But, investment technology is not easy as I thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
>> Many people said, "there's a high return in high-risk investments."
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
>> Sometimes I think investment looks similar to gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.
>> So, if I have a good investment skill, I want to have a stable investment sense.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132812 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1205
132811 Have you ever hlped anyone? If yes, write about it. If not, then... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132810 Do you think leaders of the country must consider historical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132809 Lost ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132808 homework 11.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1257
132807 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2134
132806 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132805 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1988
132804 Money ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1954
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1478
132799 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1523
132798 What do you think is the most important part of learning English... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132797 I\'ve worked at BBQ. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132796 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132795 The cause of conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2017
132794 In most countries, women live an average of five to six years... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2028
132793 Q. Do you think that productivity content on social media is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04